This is the realest thing I ever wrote

This is the first blogger post ive ever wrote.....i started this account in January but i have not felt the need to till now. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and wonder why I should even get out of bed. I feel like the excitement and optimism I have obtained over the last few years has escaped me lately. I go to bed alone, i wake up alone...and the cycle continues daily till ive turned into this person who feels emotionally numb most of the time. Don't get me wrong I enjoy the company of the friends I hang with on a regular basis, but I just feel like somethings missing....I was never really one for the whole "game" of trying to date someone.....maybe its because i respect and love realness....I would rather know the truth about something or someones true feeling than the whole cat and mouse game that dating has become in this day and age. The other problem I find with the whole "game" is I feel that everybody these days has an image in their head of the type of person they are attracted to....and unfortunately i never really seem to fit this.....See the thing is with me i never really have what you would call a "type" almost every girl i ever liked in my life was different from the one before....I fall for personality because to me the way a person is on the inside totally affects their attractiveness on the outside...there have been many times when ill be around a group of guys that say..."oh so and so is soooo hot" and i totally disagree with them....why you ask? well thats simple when i actually sat down to talk to the same girl she came off conceded and stuck up....2 qualities that i do not admire what so ever. That is the reason why I did'nt find her attractive because to me being completely ugly on the inside is the worst quality somebody could have in my eyes. Maybe this is because I'm the type of guy that will lay everything on the line with no tricks....and I wear my heart on my sleeve no matter what ....even when it gets knocked to the floor and smashed into a million pieces I have always had the ability to pick it up glue all the pieces together and put it right back on my sleeve till the next time....I really hope this all makes sense and does not sound like random babbling .....because I know it def. came from the heart.!